His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage (Review)

I just finished reading, “His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage” and I must say I’m impressed. While Carla and I are by no means anywhere close to an affair the book does go over how neglecting key needs in a marriage can deduct from ones “Love Bank” and ultimately end up in an unhealthy marriage (or affair).

After introducing the basic idea of the “Love Bank” and going over the 10 basic needs everyone has the book then alternates chapters between a need for him and a need for her. It was fun to read the chapters speaking to the wife (the guys needs) and thinking in my head “yeah that’s the ticket” then only go over how I have some work to do when going over the wife’s needs.

I’d highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to strengthen their marriage. No matter where you fall on the scale from 1-10 you can learn something from this book. When the author has put in so much time and research in marriage counseling you can tell he knows a thing or two about the needs of a healthy marriage.

The Shack – Book Review

My wife started reading The Shack not to long ago and wanted me to read it as well so she could talk about what she was reading. My typical reading/listening is mostly filled with podcasts, self help, business and technical books. Novels work there way in my reading list but not often and not ones that are less than a year old from an unknown author. I was skeptical at best and had only heard short explanations of its contents from my father in-law and brother in-law that made the book seem less interesting. Everyone who talked about it had mentioned its controversial view of God and shock of their core belief system so when my wife asked me to read it I was reluctant. But knowing my wife she would not allow me to just put off such as request so I told her I would read it if it was on audible.com. It was. I have an audible.com account which had a couple credits queued up, so I downloaded the book to my iPhone that night. The next day I began listing to The Shack on the way to a clients two and a half hours away. I was hooked. The story was moving and captured my attention so much that I was disappointed at every interruption as I was driving in the car. The ride home was no different and I spent most of the evening at home with one or two earbuds in my ears. The book has some suspense so that evening when a transformer popped and made a bright light outside our bedroom window I was startled (you can read more about that on my wife’s blog). The day after I finished listening and all I can say is “Wow”. If this book doesn’t move you in a way to become a better person I don’t know what will. I won’t spoil the book for those who didn’t read it, but the main characters connection to God was so real it made me want to be familiar with God in that way. I can’t say it challenged my view of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit as much as others, but it made me want to be a better person and to connect with God in a deep and new way. If you strive for those things you should get a copy today. You won’t be disappointed.

For more info on The Shack you can go to http://theshackbook.com/. If you want to find more info on purchasing check out amazon.com‘s reviews and more.

Fill your marriage: Love and Respect

After seven years of marriage I still find myself falling into the same bad habits that put my wife and I in the “crazy cycle”. Occasionally though a book will come along that gives a different perspective on marriage. The book Love and Respect by Dr Eggerichs transformed my outlook and brought my focus back to were it belonged. I can’t say I’ve worked the “Energizing Cycle” or the “C-O-U-P-L-E” principles to a T but I can honestly say they do work. Filled with fun examples of different communication styles and stories of couples who have attended the Love and Respect conferences keeps the book fun and interesting while hitting home on so many topics. I find my self laughing and then saying ouch all at the same time.

If you need a little marriage pick me up, some new techniques to apply in your marriage or just want to fall more in love with your wife then I encourage you to pick up this book. Your marriage needs you to make it work! Don’t let the everyday drag get you down.

You Can Save

Natalija told me in a comment this morning to post something cool lol! Not sure how “cool” this is, but she did mention owning my own business and free time which makes me think of money. Well when I think of money I think of not having enough! So what better way to get more than to save! I get a weekly email from the Feed The Pig website and the topic of this week is “You Can Save”.

Saving is probably one of the hardest disciplines to master, but it is a necessity. It is the bare minimum on the path to financial freedom and it doesn’t hurt to have backup in case of job loss and an emergency. The books and articles that I have read recommend 4-6 months of your expenses in your savings account and about half of that in another account for immediate emergencies. The thought being that if you become sick or loose your job you can survive for 4-6 months without trouble. The other account is for true emergencies. And not the ones that involve a triple chocolate shake from TCBY. The kind where if you don’t get the car fixed you can’t work or to pay medical bills.

So you might ask “Where do I start?”, do what David Bach (The Automatic Millionaire) and others say. Pay yourself first. It’s not that hard when you know how. Here are a few tips on how to pay yourself first:

  • Pay as much into a retirement account as is allowed (or offered) by your employer.
  • Have automatic payments removed from your paycheck into a savings account
  • Automate any other payments and withdraws into savings as possible (that make sense of course)
  • Cut out something you do everyday (ie Starbucks $5 drink) and put it in savings. This is called the Latte Factor by David Bach

The more you can automate the better of you will be, but just pay yourself before you pay the bills, mortgage, rent, etc. Start small and build up. Take the “Latte Factor” seriously and you can increase your savings today!

Integrity – being a success

I love the NewLife radio show and book series so when I heard that Dr. Henry Cloud, one of the hosts, had written a new book I knew I had to get it. Fast forward to today, months after I got the book for Father’s Day of last year, I started reading the book. I’m only 19 pages into the first chapter, but I can already tell that this is a book for me. The core of this book is in explaining six essential qualities that define being a success. Starting out it explains how being a person of integrity does not in itself alone make you a successful person. Already I’ve learned some things on how to run my business, questions to ask future employee’s references, and much more. I highly recommend this book and I’ll continue posting tidbits I find as I continue my reading.

every man’s marriage

every man\'s marriageBought the book Every Man’s Marriage on CD (abridged). I figured out that I had already read the book (previously titled Every Woman’s Desire), but was a good listen either way. The story about Fred and his wife Brenda going through the struggles of life like we all do and one day Brenda telling Fred that her feelings were dead to him always brings chills to my skin. This book has great principles for men to follow to help them become the leader that God intended them to be in the home. It is even a great read for women to get an insight into how guys think and some of the reasoning behind our wierd behaviour. I can’t recommend this book highly enough as well as other book’s in the Every Man Series.

Go check it out on the New Life Ministries website.

Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money

I just read this great book recently called “Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money–That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!” A long title, but a great read. It has totally changed the way I think about money and finances. You can see for yourself here: Link To Amazon

I’ve now read the second in the series and am half-way through the third. I would recommend reading this book as it has opened up my eyes to a whole new world. Check out the amazon page for more reviews and a look at 31 sample pages. And like one of the reviews states the author advocates tithing!